Sanctions of the Unknown
by AlmightySteelShoe
Summary: -Style Candy- Kenny is dead and his soul is trapped somewhere that isn't heaven or hell. It's up to his friends and this strange Angel to save him. Through the dangers of the journey, Stan and Kyle begin to realize that their friendship goes a long way.
1. Angel of Death

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own South Park!

_**Dedicated to:**_ Zanin, the Kyle to my Kenny. X)

_**Chapter 1:**_ Angel of Death

Who would have thought that after dying hundreds of times and somehow being revived, that there would be an end to the cat lives for their dear friend, Kenny.

After the first three times, Kenny's deaths were very forgettable and always humorous when he was suddenly back at school the next day. Rumors lasted longer than his death. Sometimes sex even lasted longer than his deaths, not that any of them new.

But this time, Kenny didn't come back to school the next day—or for the rest of the _week_. Kenny had been buried on many occasions, but again, after the third time, funerals weren't given anymore. Why waste the time for a funeral when he'd be alive and dead again the next day?

Every day, before and after school, Kenny McCormick's best friends, Kyle Broflovski, Stan Marsh, and Eric Cartman would visit his grave to see if there were any disturbances—any sign that their friend clawed himself out—no luck.

The first day went a little something like this.

"Dammit you guys," The 17 year old fat man complained, "I told you we should have thrown a shovel in there!"

"Shut the fuck up fat ass," Kyle yelled, "You just wanted to throw it at his head!"

Cartman looked away with a scowl, and after a couple of seconds, muttered, "Fucking Jew."

Stan sighed, figures that those two would still be fighting when their friend was buried 6-feet-under. "Come on, maybe he'll be back tomorrow."

Day after day, the soft soil remained the same, hardening with every day that past, until finally, there was a funeral.

"Oh my God," Kyle whispered, shutting his eyes. Kenny was really dead this time. How unbelievable… "I can't believe he's _gone_."

"I fucking know!" Cartman agreed through his gritted teeth. As if the minister, or anyone else for that matter, wouldn't be able to distinguish his voice and crude thoughts. "Who's going to teach me how to lick Wendy's—"

"Eric," Wendy seethed, stomping on Cartman's foot before trying to 'secretly' eyeball Stan in a silent message of 'my-ex-is-standing-right-there'.

Stan shook his head in annoyance. He didn't even _care_ anymore! His best friend, Kyle, made him realize that he was just too good for that cheating hoe. He looked down at his redheaded friend only to see him crying. "Kyle, what's wrong?"

Before he could even say anything, not that he would have, Stan wrapped his arms around Kyle's back and rubbed small circles on his back. "Kenny is in a better place now. He doesn't have to be neglected and abused by his family or put in all that pain anymore."

"Fucking gay, man," Cartman said, not muttered, said… In a normal voice, for all these people to hear—the minister, all Kenny's friends, and girls that Kenny had some sort of relations with. Yup, Kenny's good-for-nothing family didn't show.

Kyle nodded his head against Stan's chest, ignoring the fat sack of crap. He was so glad that he had Stan, a true friend. He just felt like such a sissy, crying like he was, but he couldn't help it. "Kenny was so young though, only 17 years old!"

"I know how you feel, I wish he were still with us, too," Stan sighed, enjoying, for a reason he didn't know, the feeling of Kyle's heartbeat right below his.

With a sigh, he looked up into the sky, to see if he could feel Kenny watching over them… He didn't feel anything out of the ordinary, so that sucked.

…

"I'm so sorry you guys," The gentle voice, belonging to Butters, said, "Kenny is with God now. God is protecting him now."

Kyle smiled, "Yeah, you're right. You know, at first I was really sad that Kenny was gone and I wished I could bring him back. But now I realize that I was just being selfish. Kenny deserves to be happy up in heaven."

"Kyle," Cartman said innocently.

Kyle blinked, "Yeah?" Was Cartman actually going to have a moment of being normal, and not a racist asshole?

"Shut the hell up and make yourself useful and suck my balls." Cartman yelled, "You fucking lame ass Jew."

Kyle inwardly sighed. After all these years, he'd think he'd know the heartless fat bastard better than that.

"Cartman, get lost if you're going to be like that." Stan snapped. Why was he suddenly feeling overly protective of Kyle? Usually when Cartman made his witty remarks, he'd just ignored them as they bickered. But not this time, why? As he looked at Kyle, he was reminded of just why. That forced smile, despite his little realization and speech, he still couldn't just suddenly transition and be happy. "Nobody wants to suck your nasty, sweaty, gross, ass balls anyway!"

Between the descriptions of Cartman's balls, Stan had to pause in disgust, actually picturing them as he spoke.

Cartman scoffed cockily, "Yeah? Well Wendy sure does. Every night, she sucks them like she's milking a cow!"

"What the fuck, Cartman," Wendy yelled from her spot next to her best friend, Bebe.

"With a mouth like hers, you know she's good," Cartman muttered with a wink before trekking to his girlfriend, "Yes love?"

"Lying lard ass," Kyle snorted, with a subtle eye roll.

Stan laughed, making Kyle laugh. Butters just stood there, feeling like the third wheel, before turning around and leaving the two boys alone.

…

Later on in the day, Kyle was on his desktop, finishing up some final touches on a Photoshop project for his Art class that he had procrastinated on. Damn that addictive Deviant Art… He originally went on the site to look for some inspiration, but looking at one photo led him to another, and then another and the next thing he knew it was nearly one in the morning!

It was now two in the morning, and after straightening a line, and dampening the blue hue color in two areas, he saved his work, sent it to the teacher and shut off his desktop.

With a yawn, he picked up his alarm clock and set the time. Finally, he could hit the bed and rest his eyes after a long day. Once he set down the clock, he looked up at his screen to see if he had successfully shut down, but what he saw had him jumping back, falling to the floor.

He kicked his chair out of the way, so he could see if what he saw was really there.

"K-Kenny, is that y-you?" Kyle asked, curling his legs close to him and nearly pushing his back into the wall.

On the computer screen, a dim image of a hoodless Kenny was staring back at him with sad eyes and a frown on his face. But Kenny didn't say anything in reply, and after a few moments, the already dim image dimmed some more, slowly becoming transparent.

He was immobilized by his fear. What the hell was that? He _knew_ that it happened. He may have been tired, but not enough to be hallucinating like that. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen, in fear that Kenny would appear again.

Kyle ran a shaking hand up his face and clenched his fingers around his hat and threw it off. He ran after his phone fearfully and pressed the number '2' and 'Call'—Stan, the first contact on his speed dial.

The phone rang and rang, Stan finally answered and Kyle never felt so relieved in his life.

"Mm,"

"Stan, wake up dude!"

"What's going on, Kyle?" After a slight pause, Stan continued, "It's past two in the morning."

Wow, Stan's voice was dead sexy when he was all raspy and sleepy… Kyle almost forgot why he'd called… Almost—"I just saw Kenny! He was on my computer screen!"

"Huh, what are you talking about? Like a picture?" Stan asked, sounding just slightly more awake and less drugged up. 'Stupid question', Stan told himself. Why would Kyle call him at this time just for that? He wouldn't, duh.

"No! I was just shutting down my computer, and I look up and I saw him staring at me!" Kyle yelled into the phone, "And it wasn't just a second long glimpse, he was there for a while!"

"Kyle, I think you just need to sleep," Stan said.

"You don't believe me! I'm fucking serious dude!" Kyle screamed, pacing around in circles, "How could I possibly sleep after seeing that?"

"Just do me a favor and sit on your bed," Stan said calmly.

"No—"

"Kyle, sit."

"Stan!"

"Kyle…"

With an annoyed groan, Kyle sat on his bed.

"Now lay down." Stan ordered.

"Dude—"

"Kyle…"

"Ah!" Kyle screamed, lying down with an angry scowl.

"Now, we'll talk about this in the morning. I'll be on the phone with you all night. I promise I won't hang up, and if anything happens, I'll hear, okay?" Stan negotiated, "Sleep for now, goodnight."

Kyle sighed. Well, he w_as_ tired… And if Stan was going to be on the phone the whole time, he felt a little safer.

"Goodnight," Kyle muttered, and fell asleep right away.

Thank God they had the same phone company, or their parents would kill them.

…

"Well, maybe his spirit was trying to tell you that he's fine and you should be happy, too?" Butter's offered.

Kyle shook his head, "I wish. But dude, his face, it was so sad."

"Of course he'd be sad," Cartman bellowed, "He had to die in the most pathetic way ever."

"But why would he be visiting Kyle?" Stan said, thinking out loud. "What does this all mean?"

"W-What if he was t-trying to t-tell Kyle that his b-body was being t-tampered w-w-with?" Jimmy offered.

Everyone looked up at him and then to Kyle.

"That doesn't explain why it was _Kyle_, but maybe you're right," Stan said, putting his hands on Kyle's shoulders. "I think we should go visit him after school."

Kyle nodded, "Yeah, I agree. Kenny better be alright."

…

"Alright," Cartman said, holding up a long, fat stick, "The mission is simple. We have two squads, the ball sacks and the ass cracks. Team Ball Sack will be up and front, surrounding the grave on the north, east, south, and west. Two yards behind them, the ass cracks will cover the northeast—"

"Cartman, what the hell are you doing?" Stan demanded, "We're not doing any of that crap. We're all just going to go and see if Kenny's grave is still in peace."

"Ha!" Eric barked, pointing a finger at Stan, "That's what the ghosts want you to do! That's how they catch you and possess you!"

"I think Cartman's right guys, what if… What if…" Butters started, not able to finish.

"Nobody is going to be possessed, Butters," Kyle sighed in annoyance. "Cartman is just being a fat ass retard!"

"Naïve fucking Jew," Cartman growled, "Watch, when a Nazi ghost takes over your body, and tries to torture your body with mustard gas, I won't be there to help you! In fact, I bet the great Adolf Hitler will take over my body."

"That would be an improvement," Stan muttered, turning away from the two. "Now let's stop wasting time and let's go."

…

"Ugh, such a waste of time," Cartman complained, looking down at the perfectly fine grave, "I could have been eating some barbeque chicken and steak, but no, I had to go along with that lying Jew."

"I wasn't lying!" Kyle screamed, flailing his arms in his anger.

"God," Cartman rolled his eyes, "Diabetes makes you like a woman on her period!"

"Maybe that wasn't what Kenny was trying to tell me, I don't know." Kyle said, trying to ignore Cartman.

"Yeah, you're right," Cartman agreed, turning around to leave everyone, "He was trying to tell you to go off and be gay with Stan."

The boys that weren't mentioned laughed. The boys mentioned blushed, but tried to make it out that they were red in _anger_.

If that wasn't it, then why else would Kenny be communicating from the other world?

The two boys were the last ones to leave, wanting to pay some respect for their blonde friend.

"Remember when Kenny said he liked girls with big fat titties?" Stan randomly asked, laughing.

"Or, ha-ha, or when he said he liked girls with deep vaginas?" Kyle added with a chuckle. There were just so many funny perverted things that the boy said.

"He was a real… Horny kid, even back then," Stan sighed wistfully, leaning against a tree that was conveniently just four yards away from the grave. "I wonder if he's a secret father."

That would be so messed up, they both agreed.

"Hey, we should go now," Kyle said looking up at the darkened blue sky. The two of them were making their way through the forest-like trees, when all of a sudden far distance shrill squeaks were starting to form.

"What the hell is that?" Stan whispered in Kyle's ear.

Kyle shrugged, "Sounds like rats."

Stan raised an eyebrow. Kyle sounded so casual about it. "But it sounds like they're moving so fast and in large packs.

Kyle suddenly stopped and turned around with his mouth opening just slightly. "You're right… I think we better get out of here."

Stan wasted no time in agreeing and quickly ran. Kyle, being the faster runner, grabbed his wrist and tugged him along.

"Stan, don't even turn around!" Kyle yelled desperately.

Stan hadn't missed the widening of Kyle's eyes when he'd turned to grab his wrist. What was back there? He couldn't resist, and turned around.

Several… transparent looking rats with glowing red eyes and foam at the mouth were running after them!

"Oh my God! What the hell are those," Stan screamed, his jaw hung down in awe and fear. Because he wasn't paying much attention, he tripped, almost making Kyle fall with him, but instead, Kyle's hand slipped from around Stan's wrist with a slight stagger forward.

"Stan!" Kyle yelled, halfway turned to save his best friend.

Damn it all!

"No, go Dammit!" Stan yelled, going on his knees. He was so tired that the usual simple jump to his knees seemed so slow.

Kyle didn't listen, instead, stepping in front of Stan protectively. There was no way he was just going to leave Stan behind.

"Kyle, why," Stan said softly, now fully on his feet. It was no use running now, now that the huge rats had covered that much ground on them. They were going to die now. But at least—at least they could die with each other. That was a good enough death... Dying next to your best friend, it would be okay.

Stan closed his eyes in preparation of the inevitable. He was still gathering the courage to grab Kyle in an embrace… Okay, not embrace, maybe a pat on the shoulder, or a light reassuring squeeze to his hand… Anything to show Kyle how much their friendship meant to him.

The area suddenly felt 10 degrees colder, and that was a lot considering it was already snowing.

"Damp kiss of the Earth," A feminine voice said calmly.

Wait, what?

"Return to your maker," The voice commanded.

Stan opened his eyes and saw a short girl, standing about two feet in front of them. And beyond her, Stan saw that all the rat ghosts were frozen in place before floating into the sky in wisps of frozen ice crystals.

The girl turned around, revealing aqua green eyes, short white hair and Asian eyes. She wore a tight, full body suit with a long trench coat over it, both black.

"Who are you?" Stan asked, and then noticed she was staring right at Kyle and ignoring him. What the hell? He turned to look at Kyle to see Kyle staring back at the girl with… admiration? Stan raised an annoyed eyebrow

Oh hell no!

That look was supposed to be reserved for him, and him only!

_**Oh my God, who in the world is that? And why did she save them? Are they saved? **_


	2. Preparation

_**Chapter 2:**_ Preparation

"You," the girl who stood at 5"2 said with a superior voice. She was looking straight at Kyle as if Stan weren't there at all. How rude. "You are Kyle Broflovski?"

"Um, yeah, that's me," Kyle confirmed with a blink. "How do you know me?"

"If you wish to save your friend, follow me." The girl ordered, turning away from them, leaving no room for questioning.

"But wait, who are you?" Kyle asked, reaching out, but was ignored.

"Okay…" Stan said in a confused tone, "Should we follow her?"

"I have a feeling we should…" Kyle answered, before looking at him. "Maybe it has something to do with Kenny… Wait up, girl!"

"What is this all about?" Stan asked the girl, but was ignored. He nudged Kyle. Maybe she'd answer him. She at least acknowledged Kyle.

Before Kyle could say anything, the girl decided to explain. "Kyle Broflovski was communicated by the spirit of Kenny McCormick. Your friend is neither in heaven nor hell. Those creatures just now are trying to prevent the salvation of Kenny by destroying the chosen one, or Kyle."

"But why am I the chosen one?" Kyle asked.

"I don't know, something about you being the only Jewish kid in South Park," She sighed.

"How do you know all this? Who are you?" Kyle asked in awe.

"I was sent here to aid you by a force I am not at liberty to speak of," She answered, raising an arm over her head and stretching her muscles. It was a long run and walk to get to these boys. "As to whom I am, you may call me Yoakou."

"So, Yoakou," Stan said in an accusing tone, "Where exactly are we going and how are we going to save Kenny?"

"It would be hard to explain to a human who doesn't believe in the supernatural," Yoakou shrugged, "But, I have to aid you to the location because there will be many more creatures far worse than those little rodents back there."

Stan and Kyle both blushed in embarrassment and intimidation.

Stan kind of wished that Cartman was there to insult her and knock her down a peg.

"Do you hum—boys, have any weapons?" She asked, glancing at them.

Both boys shook their heads. Why would they need weapons? Up until now, everything was so… Ordinary and simple—now they had ghosts, spirits, and creatures were after them and paranormal activities were occurring and what was this now? Oh yeah, they had to have weapons now and fight them. As if life was an RP or some sort of anime/manga now.

"Shame, you need a weapon to survive." She said in a calm, uncaring tone. "I can't always be there to protect you. I'm not a God after all."

"But… You don't have a weapon," Kyle pointed out.

Speaking of which…

Ignoring Kyle, Stan spoke to Yoakou, "Then what exactly are you?"

She smirked at him, eyes smoldering him, sizing him up. "Why, I'm a girl."

"That's not what I meant," Stan grunted, she was testing his patience.

"I am a death angel," She answered.

'Angel my ass,' Stan thought, frowning slightly. "Interesting, so you're not human? Where are your wings, angel?"

"Stan," Kyle scolded lightly. Why was he acting so mean? All she did was help them.

The girl lifted her head so she could somehow look down on Stan, even though Stan was 5"9 (and growing), and gave him a knowing glance. "No, not human… and death angels don't have wings. We just have power to help regulate the flow of life."

'You don't do a very good job at it,' Stan thought bitterly, wanting to snort. 'Kenny's always dying, but never stays dead.'

Kyle frowned at Stan. What was his problem? This Yoakou _saved_ them and she was amazing and the attack was so beautiful and unreal. But Stan's eyes were shut closed, so naturally he wouldn't have the same admiration.

Stan wanted to roll his eyes at Kyle. In his peripheral vision, he could see Kyle frowning at him. Why did Kyle even want to protect her? What made her so special?

"Humans," Yoakou scoffed, "Always unprepared. Listen, now that I think of it, I have another minor mission around here. While I go take care of that, go to your house and prepare a lie to your parents and wear clothes more suitable for battle. Meet me here in an hour and I'll take you to the weapon smith."

…

Stan and Kyle both arrived four minutes earlier than the arranged meeting, when rustling in the bushes caught their attention. But the person who stepped out wasn't the short, thin, Asian girl they were expecting. No—quite the opposite.

"You didn't think you were leaving on a mission without me, did you?" A cool voice asked, revealing the tall, fat, American body of none other than Eric Cartman.

"Cartman…" Stan started.

"What are you wearing?" Kyle finished, already annoyed at seeing the fat face of his nemesis-friend.

"Superman costume, duh you stupid Jew," Cartman yelled, putting a hand on his hip. "Your diabetes finally making you blind, God!"

"Fat ugly people like you shouldn't be wearing tights!" Kyle shot back, glaring at the boy who was grinning like the cocky bastard he was.

"And don't forget me," A female's voice chimed, "I'm here to help, too!"

It was Wendy, wearing a Wonder Woman costume, most likely to "go/match" with her boyfriend.

"Why the hell are you guys even wearing costumes?" Stan demanded. "How did you even know we were going anywhere?"

"Because, we're not boring lame asses like you and the Jew," Cartman answered casually, "And I was around the area looking for my Churches Chicken coupon that I'd dropped and I heard you guys talking to a girl and I was wondering what kind of ugly desperate girl would be talking to guys like you."

Before any more explaining could be done, another person came, again, not who Stan and Kyle were expecting.

"Hi guys, I'm here to help Kenny, too!" Butters said, wearing something… actually… normal?

"What the hell are you wearing!" Carman screamed, nearly running over to the blonde boy.

Butters was wearing light blue jeans, a black t-shirt with a blue and white jacket over it, green fingerless gloves, and a red and white hat with a black check on the front of the hat. "I'm Ash Ketchum from Pokémon!"

"You fucking lame dumbass!" Carman screeched slapping Butters to the floor and kicking him. "I said superhero you idiot! Go and get another costume before I kick your ass!"

"What is this?"

Cartman stopped his onslaught of screams and kicks on the poor boy to look at the short girl who spoke.

"You told people?" The voice was one of disapproval.

"We didn't tell anyone. They just showed up." Stan explained. "Apparently the fat one was eavesdropping on us earlier and took it upon himself to invite more people."

"I see…" Yoakou sighed. "I suppose three more guests wouldn't hurt."

"Butters needs to go change first," Cartman said, pulling him to his feet and pushing him in the direction of the houses.

'More waiting,' Yoakou thought in annoyance, but decided to let it slide. She really wondered why she was being so lenient with these kids, but then again, she might as well let them have a little fun, since there was a possibility that they could die.

…

Not even ten minutes later, Butters returned, now wearing a Thor costume.

"Wait," Cartman whined in a small, sad voice, "I want to be Thor."

While Superman was the most popular superhero, Thor was the most powerful.

"No time," Yoakou growled, pushing herself up from her slouch against a tree. "Live with your lame costume and let's go."

"It's okay Eric," Wendy smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I think you're fine just the way you are. No matter what costume you wear, you're great."

Cartman looked into his beloved girlfriend's eyes and smiled.

"Wendy," He said nicely.

"Yeah, Eric," Wendy whispered softly, letting her eyelids fall just a bit.

"You're so full of shit," He said, snapping his attention back to Butters, "Butters, get undressed and switch with me Dammit!"

The nerve of him!

"H-hey, get off of me!" Butters screamed, trying to break away from Cartman and run away.

Wendy growled. She thought that he was going to kiss her! What the hell!

"You wouldn't even be able to fit in it!" Kyle yelled, trying to save Butters while Stan held Cartman back. "He is half your size, Cartman!"

…

Yoakou stepped out of the shop after just having a brief conversation with the weapon shop owner. "Okay, go to him and tell him the weapon you would like to wield…" Eyeing Cartman, she continued. "And make sure you can actually use it. This is life and death; we're not playing a game."

Kyle and Stan were the first ones out, of course. They seemed to be the only ones actually taking this seriously.

Cartman just seemed to want to be a superhero without the powers and the physique.

Kyle decided to go with nun-chucks and a dagger, having experience with them. Stan decided to go with a sword.

The next one to come out was Carman with an obnoxious looking huge hammer. Yoakou made him test it out and Cartman was surprisingly able to lift it over his head and swing. Maybe the boy wasn't all fat after all and he had some hidden muscle somewhere.

Butters came out with a long metal staff with a blade at the tip.

Wendy came out holding a whip only to be pushed back inside by Yoakou, who gave her a this-is-serious speech. Wendy then came out with a bow and quiver full of arrows.

Yoakou then ordered each of them some four-star shuriken and smoke bombs just in case. As they neared their destination, the fighting would only get that much more difficult. She especially worried for Wendy, since she did have a limit to her arrows.

"Finally," Yoakou sighed, "Are we all prepared?"

"But what about you," Kyle asked. "Don't you need a weapon?"

"I'm not human remember…" Yoakou said with a slight smirk. "But I do have my own shuriken and a dagger just in case."

"Do you guys think I should get something else," Butters asked, feeling a bit insecure with his weapon choice.

"No, you're fine." Yoakou nodded in approval. "I thought you were going to choose something like what 'fat one' chose. And I'm glad you didn't."

"I'm not fucking fat you midget!" Cartman screamed, turning beat red. "I'm big boned! There's a difference!"

"Well what do I call you?" Yoakou asked. "That is what Stan called you earlier."

"Call me Cartman," he snorted and crossed his arms.

"Oh, and I'm Wendy, Cartman's girlfriend!"

"You can call me Butters, that's my nickname."

"I see… I am Yoakou," She introduced with a curt nod, "Now that we're all acquainted, let's get going."

…


End file.
